Making Maps of an Unseen Plane

In the last two weeks, I've been in my apartment maybe four or five days. A schedule of travel puts me even more behind in my blogging. I like traveling, but I don't like being behind. Or fatigued.

People-watching in airports is probably one of the more unique brands of the sport because of the variety. People will be boarding flights for job interviews, funerals, weddings, vacations, tournaments, college visits, conventions, whatever. Hospitals, however, don't have the same range of emotions. If you're in a hospital, you're probably worried about someone. Even if you're waiting for someone to give birth, you're probably hoping and praying that the mom and baby make it through alive. Which is good, because otherwise you'd be a heartless bastard. Malls don't have much of a range, either, because most of the people there are bored.

My only quibble, and it's not even a quibble so much as an observation, is this: I don't think I have ever seen a fight at an airport. At bars, dance clubs and junior high schools, I have witnessed some great hair-pulling and spitting, but airports have left me without the satisfaction of chanting "Oooh!" or "You get her!" I imagine that TSA has created an atmosphere in which no one wants to try that, and one in which no one could try that.

A fight before my Phoenix flight might have had the people sitting next to me on edge enough that they wouldn't have been so talkative. Now, I'm a talker myself, but I also can take a hint. If I'm chatting you up and I can tell you'd rather be eaten by fire ants, I move along until the next person lets me know she'd rather be eaten by fire ants, too. But on a plane, you can't leave.

I know of someone who keeps the Book of Mormon with her when flying. When the people sitting next to her won't take the hint that she's not in the mood to chat, she pulls out the book and asks, "Have you heard of the prophet Joseph Smith?"

That usually shuts them up and she gets her peace.

Survey question
In which vessel would you prefer to fly: the Millennium Falcon, the USS Enterprise or the Winnebago from "Spaceballs"?

I'm going to say the Enterprise, simply because it has a bar and you can walk around inside it pretty freely.