Fido, Your Leash Is Too Long

I'm conflicted.

In the course of my travels in the past few weeks, I have come in contact with not one but two really good guys. On the one hand, these guys are dependable companions, eager to see me and offer support. On the other hand, they're needy and require lots of attention.

But they're lovable, and they both really seem to dig me.

And deep down, I know they're really dogs.

No, really, they are. One is a golden retriever and the other is a Cavalier King Charles. They will sit when you tell them to, and unlike the dog I had growing up, they won't shit in the house.

The conflict is not whether to take these dogs, as these dogs are already taken. Neigh, the conflict is whether I should look into one for myself. Not in the immediate future, but in the future at all. I live alone, work odd hours, and can be away from home for long periods of time. Those three facts are not subject to change any time soon, and I don't want any dog to suffer because I'm a Susan Smith of a parent.

I'm in no position to have that kind of responsibility. I have a fish, and feeding him is a chore. But I guess a dog can remind you when he's hungry. That fish never comes into the main room to let me know he's here. And if he whimpers at all, I can't hear him.

But consider what these dogs can do:
*Roll over!
*Play dead!
*Shake your hand!

Granted, they'd probably do that if you didn't feed them. Or if you gave them lots of sugar.

But aren't those tricks cool? The neighborhood hobos can't even do those things. Dogs 1, bums zilch.

Survey question
What should I name my non-existent dog?

So far, I like:
*Axl
*Lusty
*Chow Mein
*The Enforcer
*Client Number Nine