Life Just Kind Of Dances Through Ya From Your Smile Down To Your Feet

There are very few things that might be rawer than how my throat felt earlier this week:

*A hooker
*A porn star
*The deal "Enchanted" got at the Oscars

But unless you're Ashley Alexandra Dupre (call girl), Jenna Jameson (porn star) or Amy Adams (star of "Enchanted"), then you were not rawer than my trote.

And I won't even come up with any similes for my runny nose. That would be too sick even for me.

During said illness, my mom forwarded me an e-mail with some non-traditional remedies, both of which involving socks.

The Magic Sock Treatment

1. Warm your feet by taking a bath or soaking your feet in warm water for 5 to 10 minutes. Warm feet will increase the effectiveness of the treatment.
2. Take a pair of light cotton socks and get them wet with cold water.
3. Wring them out thoroughly.
4. Place the cold socks on your warm feet. Cover with thick wool socks (or onesie pajamas). Wool socks are best as they hold the heat in.
5. Go to bed. Avoid getting chilled.
6. The magic sock treatment is best if repeated for three nights in a row, unless otherwise instructed by your physician.

This flies in the face of the conventional wisdom about getting get your feet cold, but the people who advocate it say this remedy draws lymph or blood from one area of the body to another. The "magic sock treatment" is suggested for fever, headache, ear infections and upper respiratory infections.

As I live in a warm climate, I don't own wool socks, and thus, I did not try this one. But I tried the next one.

Vaporub On Your Feet

This one is pretty easy: put Vicks Vaporub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime, then cover with socks. I used the Publix brand ("medicated chest rub"), but it still kinda worked. A lot of the advocates of say that you're supposed to feel a sensation all over your body, as if you're being wrapped in a blanket. Maybe I passed out before that would have happened, but I did not feel any blankets.

The e-mail said that this works for the same reason that rubbing garlic on your feet will allow you to taste it. I did not taste the "medicated chest rub," but again, maybe I would have had I not passed out from the other cold meds.